Life is good right? I’m happy everyday-maybe not all day-but generally a happy and positive person. Unfortunately these past few months have been hard and finding that strength inside is very hard. Two special people in my life have been diagnosed with terminal cancer. One of them is my aunt-it’s so hard to see this beautiful soul suffer in pain. 74 years old is not old by todays standards and she doesn’t deserve this dreadful disease on top of all of the hardships she has come across in her lifetime. The other, is a friend I made about 2 years ago. She had brain cancer and overcame it-then… the unthinkable happened and she was diagnosed again with another form of brain cancer that is inoperable and the chemo is not working. This beautiful soul is only 28 years old. So much life should be ahead of her and it’s being taken away to early.
My mom and I recently saw my aunt-we traveled 2500 miles to see her and my cousin. My cousin is the “saving grace” in her life. She visits her every weekend and as much as she can during the week. It’s so surreal to see a role reversal in this situation. A mother who once cared for her children, raised them and and is now being taken care of by her daughter. It was so hard also to see my mom looking at her little sister this way. Both of us just trying to give all of our strength to her.
She is now in hospice and it is a long drawn out disease. I hate the fact that it’s a waiting game and all of the pain she’s enduring. All of the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s that must be going through her mind. As hard as it is losing someone we love, I know that she will be much better off when she’s at peace.
My friend who is also in hospice has asked to just not to answer questions and just be at peace with her family during this hard time. I remember just last January taking her engagement pictures. She was a beautiful bride who was just married in August.
I just wonder why all of this has to happen, why are people we love taken away from us so early, how do we find the inner strength to move forward when they are no longer with us. I’ve had people tell me “this is life.” To be honest… I hate being told that-it’s really no comfort to me.
Life is a crapshoot and also short. We need to live life to the fullest. I’m trying so hard to not “sweat the small stuff.” It’s not easy. Tears flow from me everyday. We all have a different way of coping. Mine has been through tears, talking and writing.
As always: Keep smiling!!! (: